I Am The Mask – by Marie Pollnow



I’ve been used as a mask on numerous occasions.  It’s been cathartic and stifling on different occasions.  I was not my true me or higher self.  Other human beings projected their needs and wants onto me.  I was their mask.
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As a young girl Marie created a “Silent Mask”whether used at school or home.  She quickly learned if a teacher or her father was angry with her to be quiet.  She got to be a real expert at being silent which further strengthened her “Green Mask.”  Her “Silent Mask” was light grey with a closed mouth.  It was in this state Marie gained tremendous solace through communication with animals.  Animals understood her.

Marie loved to play make believe as a child and wore different masks at different times.  Mostly she played a mommy taking care of her dollies as babies.  Oftentimes her neighbors and playmates would wear their masks as well, metaphorically.  They all learned what roles they should play.  They learned they were all masks.

In the military I was the mask for many people.  Within the mind control I lost many of the normal qualities of a young sweet midwest Marie and became the mask of their creation.  My green hazel eyes stared straight out blankly as I declared, “Yes Drill Sergeant!!”  I’ll call this the “Green Mask” charade.

I did almost everything they ordered me to do, losing my identity slowly like an ice cream cone melting on the sidewalk.  The good part about a mask is you can take it off.  My “Green Mask” was a psychological creation, chipping away at my true identity full of kindness, spontaneity, courage, wonder and love.  When in basic training I took my mask off worn out and charred right before retiring.  One methodology the powers that be did to form and create this mask was through: 1) taking away your first name and 2) severe sleep deprivation and 3) repetition of information.  At times it was so severe the sweet young lady felt her body float away, green mask in place.

Throughout Marie’s adult life there were hundreds of masks, mostly made through self-creation.  Sometimes Marie was greatly influenced from outside forces like the Catholic Church or mind-controlled pop stars.  If Marie had to look into the closet of her mind there would be masks of all patterns, sizes and colors.  There was the drab Army green,the  deep violets with glitter, tiger -striped, doll masks and emerald green.  There was blood red and Glinda-the-Good-Witch’s among others.  It was  like a toy store.

Masks can be worn and used for many reasons.  One mask Marie created early on in this physical life was a mask of strength.  It was stoic, stern and without much emotion.  Her strong mask resembled that of a military law corporal not showing any emotion yet letting her sadness, fear or anger come out at different intervals throughout her life for different reasons.  She buried so much pain deep inside and learned so many valuable lessons people lined up to talk to her as if she was some kind of guru.  She was not a guru.  She had her “Strong Mask” on.  Her strong mask made her look in control it was black and gold without a grimace or a smile.  It was unlike a human…because her mask was just that.. a mask.  It turned everything upside down.  When she should have showed her love, kindness and vulnerability instead she showed strength because any time she knocked on anyone’s door for help it went unanswered. She learned to do many things on her own that she would have preferred not to do.   Marie did not like this black and gold mask but it was her go-to.  It bound her face, was uncomfortable and presented a falsity that did not exist.  It was not a reality.

Everyone wears masks whether they are aware of it or not.  Sometimes it is a true profusion of false creations, other times it is put on to protect just like the hard shell of a turtle keeps the turtle safe.  I believe masks are worn in awareness or unawareness for many reasons.  Then there are masks or alters created intentionally for malevolent purposes.  There are dark forces promulgating throughout the expansive ethers.  Some call them demons or spirits.  All of these entities can be related to masks.  Masks have a long history throughout the world.  Masks have been used in performance art, religious ceremonies as well as Shamanic Exorcisms.  Some believe when a mask is created it takes on a certain vibratory creation or spirit.  When a person puts on that mask he or she takes on the energy of the Spirit.  Masks are used in many various religious or spiritual ceremonies.

I believe the world we live in now has created a detrimental, morbid and falsified reality.  In some ways there are so many masks being worn or fictitious stories being digested by the multitude we are sick.  As a whole, we are sick.  Sometimes I think masks can be a good thing yet without awareness it can be a thin line.  What is the motive behind wearing the mask?  What are we attempting to create when we put it on?  As a child I never liked the dolls with the mask like faces and the creepy nuns or older ladies that would run their strange fingers through my flowing red hair.  Internally my compass was on.  Do you know why you are wearing the mask?  Did someone make you put the mask on against your will?  Have you been wearing the mask so long you have forgotten where it came from, and who created it?  I believe the more we remember who we are  the less we need the mask.  I do not think generally masks are always good or evil.  I believe it is the energy we put behind it or what we are hiding from?  Who are we hiding from?  Why are we not allowed or choosing not to reveal our true face?

Many blood shedding rituals have been done while wearing masks.  Many sex magick rituals have taken place wearing masks.  Sometimes clowns wear masks.  The movie “It” comes to mind.  What is the intention?  If you created the mask what supplies did you use to create it?  How did you feel when you made the mask?  There are many fun and happy rituals that include the wearing of masks.  There are creepy masks.  At the end of the day you decide why and how you will wear a mask?  The question is, will you take it off?  Or will you wear the mask against your will?  Do you know it exists?

Everyday I learn more and more about the masks I have chosen to wear or have been put on me by churches, society, husbands, boyfriends, friends, family members, teachers and on and on.  My closet is full yet everyday I clean and clean to discover what is there.  Everyday I find another one.  Sometimes I pick it up from the closet of my mind and clean it and send it healing vibrations.  Sometimes I discard it and occasionally destroy it in fire.  Masks are everywhere.



About author

This article was written by Marie Pollnow

I love animals, magic, love and peace. - I am like good perfume I linger in the minds of men when I'm gone. - People who know everything are fools, people who listen to everyone wise. - Restricted thinking, restricted life. Expansive thinking, expansive life. - Kindness is the greatest aphrodesiac in the world. ~Marie E. Pollnow.

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