So, like many a love affair it really had no chance of happening! Oh I noticed you but the thought of actually TRYING to LIKE you was simply abhorrent! There was so much about you I couldn’t accept. You left a bad taste in my mouth and your natural scent; well let’s just say that I’d rather have smelled burnt popcorn! Yet my parents did everything from strongly suggesting to playing that “we know what’s best for you” card as though the guilt alone would get ME to love YOU! They were after all, completely befuddled that I was the ONLY one in the family to NOT singing your praises. Over the years I found that I could take you in small quantities, like blended in with things so that you were merely a part of something else I enjoyed more and I began to find that I COULD enjoy you given the right circumstances. Of course I still had my issues enjoying the ‘real you’ the ‘raw’ side of you. And I held my ground for decades until one day something inside me shifted.
Can’t explain it for I will never fully understand it but one day I found myself stepping out of my comfort zone and gave you an honest to goodness second chance. It was as though a whole new world opened up for me. Suddenly I wasn’t the only one in the family who rejected you, tossed you aside or would gag and wretch at the very thought of YOU. Eagerly I began to incorporate you into my daily life more and more. People who had known me forever were confused, after all I had been adamant and now, well now could it possibly be that my tastes HAD changed, as so many people admonished me they would.
This new found appreciation and dare I say it L-O-V-E for you was bringing me great joy, as love is want to do and I wanted to share it with everyone, I even found a job where I could have you by my side and introduce you to those around me. I put you up on a pedestal, extolled your virtues AND found that I was one of hundreds, thousands, dare I say MILLIONS of others who also LOVED YOU! It was as though I found love and acceptance all at the same time.
But in the middle of all of this fun and frolic something began to go terribly wrong. Not like there was someone else, I knew I couldn’t keep you all to myself, you commanded world adulation and I accepted that but still I began to notice I could no longer keep up. My body grew weak and it pained me to have you in my life. I was told by my doctor that for my OWN health’s sake I would have to make a choice; HAPPY with YOU or HEALTHY without you. Seriously, really! How could one be expected to walk away from that that brought such pleasure, so much satisfaction AND connected me to throngs of other admirers where I felt like I finally belonged! Say it isn’t so!! After all I finally realized how very much I DID enjoy you, even sincerely loved you. Oh the humanity… So knowing that I had to make the choice to WALK away, I gave you up. It wasn’t easy for I had worked you into my routine so much that I HAD to go cold turkey, a complete break, I cried for the loss but believed that if this change really didn’t help, if I honestly didn’t regain my health we would find each other again and simply slip away into the woods, never having to answer to others again. After all, how could I live without you?
But live without you I did and my body thanked me with every fiber of its being. My weakened condition ebbed and my energy began to return stronger and better than ever. What cruel joke was this, I thought that there were times that love could be painful. I knew of others who never walked away from you, despite THEIR weaknesses and pain, so confusing. Still the truth was evident I found my strength to admit that my love for you could not overcome the fact that you were really NO good for me. We had something good together but it wasn’t meant to last. Yes I have my health and well you STILL have the millions who adore you. I see you from time to time and smile knowingly but I walk on by for I know that I loved you Tom or as I formally refer to you, Tomato!
Annette is a multi-talented creative and Wisdom Mentor who hails from the Great Lakes State of Michigan! These days her talents are manifesting in writing, glitter, cooking, glitter and hosting her own Blog Talk Radio shows! Catch up with her on Facebook or firstname.lastname@example.org