I have been out of pocket and not posting for a few months because, I was in a strange car wreck. I have been handling the stuff that comes with sending a car to the Pick & Pull yard and buying a new car.
I was traveling with my daughter who has her learner’s permit. We going to visit an area college and we were traveling on a curvy road with lots of hills. Everything was great and suddenly over a hill came a semi-truck carrying about ten giant bales of hay. The driver was paying attention to his phone and swerved into our lane. My daughter is an awesome driver. She swerved to miss him and prevent us from being hit head on. HOWEVER, when she swerved the tires hit some wet gravel which sent the car down a ravine and into a ditch where we proceed to hydroplane across the standing water in the ditch. We flew into a concrete barrier going about 45 miles an hour then the car went air born over a road and into another ditch where we hydroplaned another 100 feet. The air bags deployed, the windshield flew off the car and the car basically cracked in places cars are not supposed to snap.
I told my daughter to get out of the car as fast as possible because the radiator was steaming on the engine block making me think the car was on fire. Once we were out, I checked her over to make sure nothing was broken. I popped the trunk got out the lawn chairs and called a tow truck. I let my husband know the car had taken its final drive and asked him to come and pick up our daughter while I waited for the tow truck. I will admit if I smoked I would have probably had a cigarette. Instead, I sat there wondering how my inner storyteller was going to remember this accident and what embellishments it would add in the retelling to convey my stress, fear, and final relief. I could almost hear the storyteller spinning the story through my mind.
I don’t know if the bigness of the event sent me into that ‘otherworldly place’ I go sometimes. It is a place where in a somewhat detached way
• examine the facts of a situation,
• ask the universe what the implications of the event on my life,
• and I ask myself “How does this story want to show up in my life story?”.
I was having one of those ‘otherworldly place’ moments sitting there waiting for the tow truck. In a contemplative place, I thought that I was grateful that my daughter’s first really bad car wreck was with me and she got to watch what should be done after a wreck of this proportion. Everything about the event when reflected upon was not that big a deal. Yes, I would have to buy a new car but I was already looking and ready. Yes, we almost died but almost dying doesn’t really count unless you want to be a trauma drama mama and we don’t play that role in our house. Yes, my inner storyteller had a new story to elaborate and carry around for a while.
So for two weeks, that inner storyteller has been driving me crazy with dreams of other car wrecks from movies. Pointing out every muscle twinge and joint pain asking “Do you think this was because of the wreck?” Of course, it was because of the wreck silly storyteller. Finally, I got so sick of the constant background noise of my inner storyteller needing to tell her story that I gave her a journal to write out the whole story from beginning to end. Draw pictures, leave tear drops on the paper do whatever you want to this story, but get it out of my body so that I don’t spiritually choke on the retelling.
The minute the storyteller finished with her version of what happened on that Monday my mind became calm. The aches and pains were gone. My sore throat healed. And my dream time was clear of movie making car crashes.
Do you have a story running on auto-pilot in your head? Maybe it was something from your childhood. Maybe it was a conversation with a co-worker. No matter, the story is there wanting to get out. When it doesn’t get out your inner storyteller starts writing it permanently in your bones, muscles and neuronal pathways. The result shows up in physical and mental health issues. When you give your inner storyteller respect and you give them their own tools like a journal to work with, they can relieve the soul of traumatic stories, feed the soul with memories, and inspire soul survival.
If you decide to engage your inner storyteller, ask them to only present the facts in their first telling of your inner story. Then ask them to tell it like they would to a child, a room of strangers, to me, and finally tell it to your grandma. Using multiple versions of the story will help you really get to the good embellishments and in the end, you may find that your storyteller is pointing out what your soul needs to feel valued and nourished in your present life.