When do you hold back? When do you let it fly?
With the theme PARTICIPATE in mind for the August issue here at The Magic Happens, I found myself becoming more aware of how much of my energy I was putting into different moments of my time. It’s been fascinating for me to play ‘observer’ of myself… and has had the unexpected effect of causing me to become much more sensitive to energy and vibrations than I ever was before.
I suspect we all are modulating our level of participation all the time… we’re just spending a great deal of our time unaware that we are doing so. I’m not suggesting there’s anything wrong with any of that, but I will share you may be depriving yourself of richer experiences by this very lack of awareness. In other words, there are going to be times and places, certain circumstances, where we want to participate fully, putting our energy front and center (let’s say while making passionate love to a willing partner, for example), and other times where less active participation is more appropriate (attending someone else’s wedding might be an example). But while knowing which time and place calls for what degree of participation is great… deciding about and taking full responsibility and accountability for our degree of participation is a whole new ball game!
I had an opportunity to play with some of this decision-making in July when my sister informed me that she had volunteered me to do a reading at her son’s (my nephew/godson) wedding. Now normally that would not be a very challenging thing for me to participate in however, right now I am currently experiencing some major dental issues. While it goes beyond cosmetic issues, and is also causing some challenges with my speech, I must confess, the cosmetic issue gave me pause in considering this ‘request’ to participate in the wedding to this degree. So despite the fact that I had already been ‘volunteered’, I knew I had a decision to make — to participate, or not participate.
Here’s the thing, I really like doing that kind of stuff and it really is an added bonus when it helps someone out or simply pleases them to have me do something for them… so my real challenge came from confronting the ‘stories’ I was holding in my head about all the reasons I would be (should be) ‘too self-conscious’ to participate to the degree requested. As I realized this, I started questioning how many times in my life I may have let the ‘stories’ win and held back from participating… and examples started surfacing. As I let the memories rise up and took the time to evaluate from my new perspective, I realized how many experiences I cheated myself out of because I didn’t take the time to question the stories/excuses I had for not participating! It was humbling to say the least.
So I let myself feel the love. The love for myself, the love for my nephew, the love for my sister, and the love of celebration… and it was that feeling that brought total clarity to the decision-making… of course I will participate. YES!
So I took a deep breath and threw more of my energy into the mix. It was a beautiful service and a wonderful day full of laughter, music, and celebrating… not marred in the least by any of those ‘what if’s’ that I’d been dabbling around with earlier. So I leave you with one suggestions… participate a little, or participate a lot… just make sure it’s a decision that you make from the heart.
play well together… have fun,
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