The opposite of sleep is being awake, yet we can approach this phenomenon from different perspectives. The physical, mental or emotional as well the spiritual way. So how to decide which way to approach right now. To me, all is connected with each other; my holistic vision so to speak. My awareness is always connected with my mental and emotional state, which has always its effect on my body. This seems to be the part of me that needs to integrate every time I change something in myself. Either my emotional state regarding my lifetime experiences. Or my wake up calls so to speak when it comes to gaining more knowledge. This life’s journey has been connected always through my physical being.
It seems that my revelations and acceptance of root causes I have experienced are also connected with the bodily awareness of the process. At one point in time I was challenged physically in a very difficult manner. After my body had to restore its energy due to a virus and post viral syndrome, it wasn’t able at one point to recover. I was diagnosed with ME or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I never felt so left out of energy as I did at that time. It was like walking through a fog, because my mind wasn’t able to concentrate and focus, other than to the very basics. Falling asleep all day and night, without feeling refreshed. Unable to do anything at one point, needed to address every aspect that it brought up. Searching for the underlying cause I had to go dive deep within my emotional and mental awareness as well.
It was a journey with lots of highs and lows, as it enabled me to see how my physical reaction was related to the way I would go through my life. Sitting on the edge of my chair so to speak, in order to bring in the right decision or assistance in my work environment had drained me. It made me aware what deep ingrained patterns I was used to. It also showed me how this has taken its toll on me. I wasn’t just tired, it was also time to wake up, become more aware conscious about the way I perceived myself. Not just that, it also brought up my own expectations I held towards myself. I demanded so much and was put to a hold in time. Ignoring all the stop signs I had along the way up to this point I could do nothing else than sleep and being unable to do anything else.
Every muscle and every organ is infected with this dis-ease, and it took me a while to regain some of my energy. It took a lot of soul searching as well, which I had plenty of time for to do. Becoming aware also meant I was more awake in a different matter mentally as well emotionally. It brought up and into my consciousness how all was inter connected with my own rules and mind set. I had to wake up from this deep sleep of unawareness as well ignoring my own signs giving to me by my body. I had to take responsibility and own my steps as well start healing from the inside out. It was a difficult challenge. Yet it woke me up in so many ways, I had to accept as well to allow the way my body was reacting. It needed the sleep state in order to wake me up.
It made me aware how everything works together in order to have a healthy body, mind, soul and spirit. Not just that, it also showed me how this affected not just me, but also my family and surroundings. Spending so much time on my own, watching everybody going to school and work every day it was confronting as well. My husband and children had to take up more and more and I felt guilty more than once. Even though it was important for everyone to be able to enjoy their hobbies even without me being present, it wasn’t always easy. Challenging to say the least. In every relation it takes giving and receiving, important to care for each other. So my falling asleep literally was pretty demanding on my loved ones as well it was on myself. It took time to heal and regain some energy in order to release any stuck energy I held within.
It brought up a lot of old programming not just by upbringing and society with all its expectations, it woke me up. So sleep and I have this love-hate relationship at times. I know that I can rely on the signs of my body. If I am feeling tired in a way I need to sleep during the day, I have crossed some boundaries. Mostly in more than one way. It seems my body is the last to follow the inner changes I make. Often sleep is a way of healing and I have come to this place of acceptance within myself. Only after I had to allow the experience of hitting rock bottom energy-wise. So, be aware if you’re need of sleep is in balance with your day to day business. It will always create a wake-up call if you cross your boundaries in more than one way.
What I have learned as well is falling asleep also has a lot to do with being safe. Asleep you are vulnerable. So many out there don’t have this comforting and safe surrounding I am blessed with Being able to sleep in a comfortable bed as well having a roof over my head, creates a sense of safe feeling. Which allows me to address whatever comes up. Any challenge either physical, mental or emotional has its effect, yet the safe surroundings also allow me to address whatever needs to be. Not surviving and deprived from sleep in order to heal and regain my inner balance. We should be able to provide this for every human, because being able to fall asleep and wake up in a safe surrounding means the world for everyone.
And so it is.
High Self @RheaDopmeijer ©
Heartfelt Messages 5-2-2017