It’s been quite a while since I made my debut here on this little blue planet, third from the sun and I have been reflecting on this fact, of late. I will be 60 in October, and I am noticing the magic of aging, more now than ever. I am surrounded by people of all ages and it is with amusement and amazement that I am keenly aware of the gifts their years present to them, as well as the gifts I receive from my years. Each decade of our lives has a specific type of lesson it brings and while knowing what that lesson is can be helpful, I believe it can be just as remarkable to figure it out along the way. Here is what I have figured out along my way.
In my teens, I was all about identity. It was the “who am I” “what am I” energy that had me seeking role models and searching for validation at every turn. Naturally there was much experimentation and all the while I just knew that I had to figure it out so that I could be happy!
Once I hit my twenties, balance was the order of the day. Working and partying, family and friends, eating and drinking. Of course I was tremendously out of balance much of the time and therefore a hot emotional mess. This was the decade in which I married. Of course, that seemed to be the right thing to do, at that time. See, this was true love and I knew I had found happiness.
That third decade was like being a paintball game target, so much ducking and swerving as life seemed to come at me fast and furious. This was a time of self-expression and it seemed I had too much to say. My energy was shifting faster than I could keep up and I went from married and under employed to being divorced and the CEO of a company before I was 34. Before that decade was over, I had four career changes and was convinced that happiness was at the best, out of reach and at the most, a lie!
Hello to reaching forty and believing there was a need to test the waters of stability. If it looked like I could hang on to it, it crumbled and the more I tried to make things happen, the less things went my way. Having fun, was fun and I was out to prove that all the preconceived notions about who I was, were false. Sowed my wild oats and then some, all the while realizing that mid-life crisis is not uniquely a term for men. Happiness was in the moment and if I wasn’t happy, I just waited for the next moment.
Change was the gift of my decade of five, and in a way, change was an understatement, for I experienced grand transformations. There was much magic to be had in each of these transformations, some I realized more in hindsight naturally. I was pushed off figurative cliffs and willingly jumped off others. Miraculously, I found that I could fly. I was also presented with safety nets I didn’t even know existed. Happiness and I were eye to eye and I finally got it, I could see it and a genuine smile emerged.
Of course I’ve a few more months until this decade of my fifties is gone but I will tell you what that big ah-ah is and of course if I had gotten this ages ago, then I imagine I’d have had a very different life. My attitude changed and in a flash my life changed! Amazing to me that all this time all it would have taken for me to have had things a little easier was to have had gratitude for that which just plain pissed me off, just amazing. Sure, there were times when I was totally grateful for the people, places and things that came my way but it was in the recognizing that I controlled that feeling by making a conscience choice, that turned change into magic and miracles! Instead of wondering why, I am now living in the wonder of it all.
The beauty of where I am right now, is that I have all this knowledge, experience and awareness to take with me through the rest of my decades. Cool!