One of the things I have been working on is learning to give myself permission to take a day off from being productive and just play! Too often I use my days off to go grocery shopping, get laundry done or whatever. I usually have a case of the “shoulds”. It really has taken some effort to let go of this insanity. It is like I am accountable to some undefined monster who proclaims “You are not allowed to relax!” And when I do relax , the voices in my head tell me to stop goofing off, wasting time and get with the program. I realize this is an ultra bad habit and perhaps an addiction? I hope not but sometimes it makes me wonder.
Today I chose to do a road trip. Yay for me. I wanted to do a little hiking so I chose to go the Chancellorsville National Battlefield Park. A Civil War battle was fought here, so I got my history fix as well. While I was hiking, I thought of the soldiers on both sides of the conflict and the horror each must have experienced. The area is fairly wooded even now making sight lines difficult. I have a profound respect for each sides dedication to their causes. It was a clear day with lots of sunshine ad bright blue skies. For the first time in a bit, I stayed in the moment and just enjoyed the landscape. There was no rush to get the hike done and I felt at peace with myself. Nice to tell the chimps who reside in my brain to just SHUT UP!
Life and the present moment is meant to be savored and enjoyed. I am working to no longer feel guilty when I give myself the day off. I am dedicated to staying active and not get sedentary. I am working to expand my social circle. Recently I volunteered as a sound technician for a local theater company. What a blast. With my life being a little turbulent in the past couple of years, I found it very easy to isolate and just live on my couch. Easy to have a perfect life when you don’t do anything. Life is about taking risks and trusting in the good of the universe. And I have been blessed even though I brush them off sometimes. Its about realizing the small miracle. I am getting better at this.
Later in the day, I stopped at a local winery. Got to listen to some nice music, have a San Pellegrino, watch kids play and just enjoy the sunshine. There were even three live turkeys cruising around. While this doesn’t sound all that thrilling, it was a special way to enjoy the day. And I can’t deny that on my way home, I did get my car detailed. So all in all, I am a work in progress and a student of play and relaxation. Life is a true sweet dance and I don’t want to miss it. At the end of the day, I am grateful for what I am and what I have.
Till next time, remember to enjoy and be in the moment. Sweet!