When I was a little girl, people often associated my name with Sabrina the Teenage Witch from Archie comics. I enjoyed the association, as I felt magical. The world seemed full of possibilities and I had dreams of flying over my neighborhood, no broomstick required, free and unrestricted by human laws. I also had a black tuxedo cat, adding to the mystique.
It was mostly through my connection with nature that I felt magic resided. The pull of the moon, my wonderment and awe as the seasons changed, and the knowingness that everything was orchestrated by divine order, called to me to remind me of my own divinity.
There was a patch of tall hardwood trees on the border of our property. They were aligned in such a manner that a natural path was intertwined within them. There was a section that set off from the path in which I felt enclosed by the protective embrace of the trees. I felt invisible to outsiders and free from my mother’s call home.
These trees were my friends and the rich earth welcomed me home. The sunlight danced through the dancing leaves and everything felt right in the world. I never wanted to leave the security of my tree fort.
As I grew older and my attention was put on doing well in school, there was less and less recess, until it disappeared completely in high school. I was groomed to be a productive member of society where there wasn’t a lot of focus or attention on the value of time in nature.
I was obedient, to a certain extent, always pushing the boundaries, but when you become a single mother at the age of 19, it becomes important to care for and be able to provide for that child. That meant focusing on a career where I could provide for the two of us. It’s a normal evolution that the majority of us go through and unfortunately too many people end up in careers that pay well, but do not bring joy into his or her life.
That was me, with my successful career in Human Resources, a wife and mother of three, who was determined to make the best life for my family. And by determined, I felt completely responsible for everyone else’s happiness. I rarely focused on my needs, or myself, and that led to a lot of bitterness and resentment. Reaching burnout by the age of 35.
During one of the most stressful periods of my life, I proclaimed to anyone or any entity that might be listening, “There HAS to be something more than this!”
I knew there had to be, or at least hoped there to be, something more than simply living a life of hard work and stress. That proclamation soon led me to a rollover accident that got my attention and forced me to start focusing on what’s truly important in life.
It wasn’t my corporate career that helped line the executives pockets with more money; I needed to start focusing on me. My happiness. On what brings me joy. Not what others expect of me, or what allows me to be accepted in this world, but what makes my heart sing, on what lights me up, and makes me feel passionate.
It turns out facilitating healing lit me up. It was a way of being of service to others, while also personally benefitting. Through healing work, I was able to release old wounds and beliefs that no longer served me, such as my belief that I needed to exchange time for money.
I had already reduced my workweek and modified my schedule after my youngest daughter was born, but I was being called to work from home. I presented a proposal to the Chief Financial Officer (CFO) and Chief Executive Officer (CEO) that suggested I work full time again, with the provision that four days would be from home with only one day in the office. This was a bit progressive for a conservative male-dominated civil engineering firm and it was met with great hesitation. The CEO wanted to know if they would lose me if they said no. In that moment, I confidently stated, “I don’t know the answer to that, but I do know that I see myself working from home. Whether or not that is for you is to be determined.” I had already demonstrated my ability to work from home during my unpaid maternity leaves in 1994 and 2000, so they approved my request.
My home office, nestled among the towering pine trees in the Rocky Mountains, once again, provided the peace, contentment and safety that the world has to offer. Complete with my black cat, Dark Star.
The day came about 18 months later, when I was at work and the CFO informed me the CEO wanted me back in the office full time. Apparently I was a bad example.
The other employees wanted what I had. The only problem with that is I thought they should have it. I implemented a wellness program, and was pushing for flextime to increase productivity, a little too “outside the box” at the time.
In that moment, I knew I was receiving my invitation to leave. I had no desire to once again add the long commute to my daily life, and my heart was calling me to expand and develop my healing practice. “You can hire my replacement. I will make sure they are fully trained before I leave,” I said.
Not the response they expected, but the only one that made sense. It took three months to hire and train my replacement, which gave me time to adjust my beliefs around the importance of benefits and a steady paycheck. I left feeling good that the company, and the people, that had played such an important role in my life for thirteen years, were in good hands. At my farewell luncheon, the CFO suggested I tell everyone what I planned to do. I blurted out, “I’m going to play and have fun!”
The faces in the room indicated this was a foreign concept and they thought I had finally lost my mind. I relieved their worry and concern by adding, “I’m also going to help manage my husband’s tattoo studio.”
The year I left my corporate career, my husband’s business financially tripled, and my healing practice grew.
After ten years, I have never looked back. Magic isn’t regulated to alchemy and casting spells, it’s about creating the most from my daily life. When I tune in, listen to, and trust my heart, I allow it to bring the people, circumstances and events that align me to my higher purpose, as if by magic. I don’t even have to twinkle my nose or wave my hand in the air, IF I don’t want to.